Black Tears on Monday

I always have made fun of those girls who get emotional with ALL their make-up on and end up with these black rivers running down their checks. I got to be one of those girls yesterday.

Yesterday started out great. We had an ultrasound and the tech gave me as much of a thumbs up as she could without a Dr there to ok it. I got to see my little bug squirming around in there. We didn't find out the sex, Jason wants to be surprised! But after the good came the bad... the dentist!

In mid October i broke a tooth. This caused alot of drama and every single Monday since then (Jason's only weekday off) i have had a dentist apt to TRY to fix it. Last time it hurt so bad it was a 9 on Ali's pain scale my 10 was giving birth without any meds! So i was scared, and he couldn't numb me. I almost passed out in the chair and was shaking so badly that he stopped and said "i can't do this" OMG its never good when your dentist says i cant! SO i cried. I love my dentist, i love him like family... I got crap teeth i see him alot! He said i needed to be referred out. He wasn't comfortable trying to figure out of to numb me. This makes him sound bad but there is way too many details to write all down, he is a saint and the best dentist EVER in my book. BUT like i said i know him and the thought of seeing a complete stranger scared me. So i cried, big black tears. He and his staff help me compose myself, they all know me by first name.
I got to the referral office and gave them my info, they called me insurance and called my back up to the window. At this point the numbness my dentist had given me is QUICKLY wearing off, and i have a hole and almost exposed nerve in my tooth. I get there and the lady says.. i got bad news, you don't have anymore insurance allowance. What??? My other dentist had told me i had enough to cover this... She then said no you have nothing and it will be somewhere around $1100... Sooo that's when the black tears made their selves back down my cheeks in a waiting room with complete strangers. Sorry kids no Christmas this year, Santa doesn't love you, because mom's got crap teeth!!! This is when i called my mommy......

They patched my holey tooth and sent me home and as i left said... "oh yeah Mrs. Whitsell the insurance company made a mistake, it will be covered but because its and emergency we will be changing you $395" I GET to go back on Monday but my Christmas will be okay!

Hungry hungry hippo...

Aidan is forever my sweet and VERY sensitive boy. Yesterday he gets in the car after school and tells me that he is STARVING. I had put leftover pizza in his lunch which was a HUGE treat. So i asked why. He said because someone spit on his food right after he unwrapped it. He threw his pizza away without taking a bite! I was so mad. My sweet boy, no one bullies him! I am going to their pull hair! So i asked him why he didn't tell one of the lunch ladies or why he didn't tell his teacher and he said he didn't want to be a tattle tail. I guess this is a big dilemma for little first graders. They have a hard time telling the difference between tattling, telling on yourself, and betraying a friendship. I told him that next time he MUST tell a lunch lady or teacher and then call me so i can bring him some thing to eat. Poor guy! I called his teacher because i guess this is not the first time this little boy and sprayed someones food with his special mixture of germs and she handled it well. The boy apologized and i don't think Aidan has thought about it again... I still wanna pull his hair

Starbucks anyone???

Last night I dreamed that i gave my newborn baby (it was a girl) to a strange couple. They were completely unable to take care of her. They smoked in the house (if you could call it a house). The house was condemnable. I left my baby and my baby tortoises. They put the turtles in a bird cage and their little legs were slipping through the wires. It was so clear that both my child and my turtles would not be cared for. I spoke up and said could you not smoke in the house and put the turtles on a hard surface, they ignored me and acted like they didn't understand. I woke up very thankful that it was a dream...but i knew what it meant. That's how i feel about Barack Obama! He has my kids future. Will he take care of them? Does he know what he is doing? Could he even take care of a turtle? He is our leader, i will pray for him and i will try to support him. He just doesn't make me feel secure!

ON a lighter note... I really want some chai eggnog TAMAR!!!

I am having an ultrasound on Monday followed by my second root canal in two weeks. I have crap teeth. I am alittle nervous about the ultrasound but i can't wait to see my baby.
Hope every ones Wednesday is good...

AL

My Kendi is sick

and its my fault... She has two sippy cups that are exactly alike... I gave her one in the morning and she brought it back empty (so i thought) i refilled it and she finished that at church. When we got home she had this HORRIBLE diarrhea... I mean BAD! I couldn't figure it out. Something in my mommy-spidy-senses told me to wash everything even the sippies... As i took the stopper out of the pink sippy i thought i had given her that morning i saw black mold... ALOT OF IT... i freaked... googled it... then went out and bought a good supply of B.R.A.T. diet food... We are still washing sheets and clothing and we are still having poop issues....



Seriously, i just blogged about poop. I need a life!

summer 2008

This is Shelly (or Sheldon if its a boy). I guess my turtle (tortoise) laid eggs sometime during the summer. She is maybe the only survivor or the first of many. Jason found her right before he went to step down on her. She is the tiniest thing i have ever seen. Kendra says "mama see cuuuuuute" Which means lift me up and hold me for hours on end to see the cute turtle...

These are some pictures of the kids Kendra and Aidan at the Big Bear Zoo...

My husband and his mini me!

My Daughter the Monkey

After i had Aidan i was never afraid to take him anywhere. He adapted quickly. He didn't need a schedule, he'd sleep anywhere, he was patient, sweet brave- even through the terrible twos. He NEVER threw a tantrum and had maybe 6 time outs and 3 spankings. He was and IS just GOOD and EASY! I would go out in public to a restaurant or to the store and people would comment on how sweet my little boy was. Of course this went straight to my head, at that time i was still a single parent (with A LOT of help from my parents) I thought to myself... you could do this parenting stuff with one hand tied firmly behind your back AND blindfolded! I should have 6 perfect kids and write a book! I could be the next Dr. James Dobson or the next T. Berry Brazelton!

After much struggle we got pregnant with our next perfectly compliant child. I couldn't wait to show off my experienced mothering skills! She popped out perfectly but in the next year her personality popped out as well.

When i was a little girl I really wanted a baby spider monkey. I would have gladly loped off one of my limbs for one. I soon discover they are illegal in California so i would have to move out of state. High school came and went and my dream faded. Sometime during my pregnancy with Aidan i watched a documentary on monkeys as pets. Basically they ripped away from their mothers days after birth. Both mother and baby are FOREVER traumatized and cry actual tears as any human would do. Monkeys are only 2 chromosomes away from humans... thus they have many of the same emotions we do. They are taken away from their mommy monkey to appease the new human mother. The baby monkeys are very clingy and have random and VIOLENT mood swings. They will cuddle you for a second then send you to the ER for 150 stitches and an appointment with a plastic surgeon.

Now back to Kendra. She is a monkey- minus the hair. This morning she woke up cute and cuddly she told me she wanted juice and cereal, then ran to her chair and pointed for me to sit. I sat she placed she head on my shoulder and snuggled in. Her wild blond hair sticking up in every postion was tickling my nose, it would have to wait, if i move she may attack. Then the unthinkable- i sneezed!.... it was all over. She pushed away from me hard with a furrowed brow and a scowl. I giggled. Big mistake. She threw her bowl of (dry) cereal across the room. I told her that was "naughty business" and to clean it up. She arched her back and slid off the chair and landed on her belly (looked like it hurt) THEN the scream. The scream that woke sleeping brother, Daddy and my hibernating turtles. She woke up my neighbors and my parents (who are currently in Mexico) After my ears stopped bleeding i came to the conclusion. She is a baby monkey. I am afraid to take her into public, for fear of the NEGATIVE comments and parenting advice i get from random strangers. I won't take her out to eat for fear of the flying french fries that will hit some unsuspecting stranger in the head. Don't get me wrong, we are dealing with the tantrums and we DEFINITELY disciplining her but i am as equipped to write a parenting book as Britney Spears' mother is!

Pregnancy for me= 9 months of fear

As most people know I am currently working on my 8th pregnancy. Yep i said 8. Every time i go to the doctor the nurse asks and i say 8 and she turns and looks at me with either a look of shock or horror, then it turns to either a look of disgust (is she a crack whore who didnt know how to use birth control and has had 8 abortions) or a look of amazement (does she has 8 kids) By this time they usually have managed to see the part of my file marked *habitual spontaneous aborter* Then their look turns to sympathy and they usually mumble a 'sorry' before asking "have you had ANY live births" ~~~NICE!~~~ For those who may not know I've had two, My beautiful- perfect- sweet- sensitive- old car lovin- boy Aidan who will be 7 (YIKES) in January, and my fiery- spirited- pretty- girly- glittery- pink- fluffy- princess- girl kendra who will be 2 (also YIKES) in November.
We have figured out that my body refuses to help out with the hormone Progesterone during the first 10 weeks of life. So once they figured that out we got me some meds that make me barf and i thought i was set. This is why we put our faith in God not man! Its not fool proof. My thoughts are they synthetic stuff cant be as good as the perfect God made stuff.
This pregnancy started like most. Jay and i hold our breath until the 11th week and the Dr. McD tells me its smooth sailing from that point on. Its scary when your Dr is wrong alot! Maybe he just knows me and my serious case of worry-wart-itis!
This last ultrasound i had wasn't great. My amniotic fluid is low and they couldn't get a good look at the heart. I said i was going to try to be a big girl and not stress... But soooo much easier said than done. So i remind myself that this is ... i repeat IS the LAST pregnancy (good bad or ugly) that i will have and if i spend my time waiting for some horrible thing to go wrong i will miss the joy of feeling peanut flutter.
So today i will be joyful. Today i will be!