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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Pregnancy for me= 9 months of fear


As most people know I am currently working on my 8th pregnancy. Yep i said 8. Every time i go to the doctor the nurse asks and i say 8 and she turns and looks at me with either a look of shock or horror, then it turns to either a look of disgust (is she a crack whore who didnt know how to use birth control and has had 8 abortions) or a look of amazement (does she has 8 kids) By this time they usually have managed to see the part of my file marked *habitual spontaneous aborter* Then their look turns to sympathy and they usually mumble a 'sorry' before asking "have you had ANY live births" ~~~NICE!~~~ For those who may not know I've had two, My beautiful- perfect- sweet- sensitive- old car lovin- boy Aidan who will be 7 (YIKES) in January, and my fiery- spirited- pretty- girly- glittery- pink- fluffy- princess- girl kendra who will be 2 (also YIKES) in November.
We have figured out that my body refuses to help out with the hormone Progesterone during the first 10 weeks of life. So once they figured that out we got me some meds that make me barf and i thought i was set. This is why we put our faith in God not man! Its not fool proof. My thoughts are they synthetic stuff cant be as good as the perfect God made stuff.
This pregnancy started like most. Jay and i hold our breath until the 11th week and the Dr. McD tells me its smooth sailing from that point on. Its scary when your Dr is wrong alot! Maybe he just knows me and my serious case of worry-wart-itis!
This last ultrasound i had wasn't great. My amniotic fluid is low and they couldn't get a good look at the heart. I said i was going to try to be a big girl and not stress... But soooo much easier said than done. So i remind myself that this is ... i repeat IS the LAST pregnancy (good bad or ugly) that i will have and if i spend my time waiting for some horrible thing to go wrong i will miss the joy of feeling peanut flutter.
So today i will be joyful. Today i will be!

1 comments:

momto4 said...

I'm so glad you are blogging! =) I pray for you always! I know that being pregnant for you is both exciting and scarry...but I also know that you have a Faith in a God that is bigger than any fear that we have! Be blessed Ali!

oh and ... my doxie's names are Cocoa (the dark brown one) and Roxy the other one! =) They were a birthday present (the BIG 30) and the couple that had them before me travels ALOT and just hated putting them in doggie day care. So...they are now MINE!!! =) Although....they like Steve better!