Saturday, June 6, 2009

Songs with meaning

Sometimes i don't know how to word things real well... but i have found comfort and understanding in the words of these three songs..

This first song i sang to myself one night after a fight with Aidan's biological father. He told me he would come in the night and take Aidan and i would never see him again. I was terrified... I look back at that time and wonder how i got through it as i am sure i will look back at this time and wonder the same thing... I sang this song through my tears holding my precious baby boy not knowing what tomorrow held and found comfort. This is a Rich Mullins song...

Well, sometimes my life Just don't make sense at all When the mountains look so big And my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace

This song was more during the period in my life right after i had my very first (of 5) miscarriages. I was almost 4 months along and hit a wall of depression afterwards... I felt so alone. This is a Barlow girl song.

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel You by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You

And I can't explain why

Such a deep, deep reassurance

You've placed in my life

We cannot separate 'Cause

You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

This last song is for my NOW... I am soooooo scared. I don't know if i can do this. I occasionally break down and throw tantrums much like Kendra does... Today i looked over at Jason hold Karly on the couch and he was crying. His tears were landing on her head. He doesn't get emotional, he doesn't worry. I don't know what tomorrow is going to hold. and i can say WE are scared! This is a Casting Crowns song.

I was sure by now

That You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen",

and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear You

whisper through the rain"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands

and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry

You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The maker of heaven and earth