False alarm # 236

Today i had my second major false alarm with the pregnancy. The first one was 3 weeks ago at 21 weeks and then again today at 24. Today was very uneventful, i wrapped christmas presents, had brunch with my mommy, it rain/snowed all day... it was a good day till 2:30 when i was trying to pick up aidan from school. I was sitting there then all of a sudden i had this contraction, this is normal i just wait for them to pass, but this one kept getting stronger and stronger till i found myself panting through it... I brushed it off as the baby stretching during the contraction or something, but there was the pressurey pain in my hips. I went to my moms house and a hour later the pressure was still very much there. I told my mom that i was gonna go home and rest but by the time i got home i was panicing.. Contractions were commin 4 mins apart and the pressure felt like the pressure right before the urge to push... I got home and told my hubby to pack up the kids we're goin to the hospital. We are in the middle of insurance limbo land, my good insurance doesn't kick in till the 1st.. so i call current hospital which quickly says... DON'T COME HERE you need a NICU. So then i think saint mary's or victorvalley has one we'll go there, but my insurance company says i have to be far enough away from Desert Valley (current hosp) in order for it to cover me.... SO what do we do... Drive down the snow infested pass to San Antonio hosp... That should be a good enough distance healthnet... TAKE THAT! All the way there my contractions where comming at exactly 2 mins apart! We were FREAKING. All i could think about was we have no name. This baby may be born today and may only live for mins and it doesn't have a name!
The hospital's great, i didn't even get to my seat in the ER before they had a wheel chair for me. I barely got in bed before they gave me the awesome contraction stopper shot (awful side effects but works like no other) Soon no more contractions and the nurse reassures me that my original thoughts of baby stretching were probably correct. She said i have a hyper active uterus, which is why coffee can put me into labor as it did the first time. She said something as simple as skipping a meal or not getting enough water could do it. Then once i get a couple regular contractions my body starts the whole flight or fight thing and there's no way to stop it other than the awesome shot.... So once again... Kinda embarrassed. Feel like a drama queen. But at least the baby is still cookin!

O Christmas tree...

Starting about 2 weeks before thanksgiving and ending mid-January is my very favorite time of the year. I love this season. I love everything Christmas! I love ice cream snow, hot chocolate, eggnog and all the other terribly fattening things to eat! I love the cold bundly weather. I love it all. I love teaching my kids about the one Birthday that is most important.

We went to Victoria Gardens for a night all about the kids and Christmas. It was soo much fun. We ate dinner... Here is kendi eating ribs with my Dad... Those are her "big eyes".

We posed in front of the gi-normous tree... Never went as well as we would have liked!

We rode the Choo Choo... Note to self: in three month may want to ride again... so bumpy would likely send you into labor!

and we posed with Santa. It was just supposed to be kendi and aj with Santa but she screamed bloody murder so we all sat on his lap... poor Santa!

Over all it was a great night. As far as baby update, nothing new so far. Still contracting some days worse than others. I have a Dr appt tomorrow. We'll see! Hope all is well with everyone!

Ohhh NUTS

So there are little lessons i learn on an almost weekly basis. Alot of them are things i wish someone had told me... Mostly regarding my children, sometimes my husband, but i think i will start blogging about my hard earned wisdom so that maybe you can steer clear.
When i was a very little girl i remember that my great grandparents always had a bowl of mixed nuts with the shells on them. I hated nuts as a child so i was never interested in them. This last shopping trip i passed a large bin of shelled nuts and thought Aidan would love them. They're a completely healthy snack and a fun project. On top of that i envisioned myself cuddled up with a good book on the couch on a cold winters eve cracking nuts....( i know so never gonna happen nuts or not) but hey you can't shovel if ya have to crack... SO i buy ALOT... Like bags full... and the cracker thingy...
I get home set up my cute bowl of nuts and precede to crack one.... Not only is it hard but they are dangerous weapons of mass destruction! They shoot allllll over the room... maybe there is a secret to it that i don't get but my goodness! So aidan insisted on trying it as well and at that point there were shells from one end of the house to the other so i let him at 'em... I really believe i will never be done cleaning up walnut shells! Not to mention kendi ate as many shells as nuts so its a good possibility the next diaper will be all shelly... and super fun!
Moral: Stick to de-shelled nuts!

Preterm labor

Amelia the youngest surviving premature baby to date. She was born at 21 weeks. She is developmentally normal for her age. To date she is 2 1/2 years old.

Amelia's feet at birth.
She weighed 9 oz at birth.

On November 24th i started having contractions that were not to intense but very regular. (every four mins.) Due to the holiday commin up the dr's office told me to go to labor and delivery so my Doctor could check me out there. I laid there hooked to machines for a couple hours listening to a chick ABSOLUTELY screaming as she was having her first baby... yikes! They saw on the monitor that i was in fact contracting every four mins. So they gave me a shot a waited to see if they calmed down, and they did. At this point i am asking alot of questions to the nurse and the answers were terribly unpleasant. I was 21 weeks at that point. They said they would not give me meds to stop labor before 30 weeks, and that if i did go into labor they just let nature take its course. She said "even if the baby is born with a heart beat we just let mom hold her till she passes" I thought this nurse was off her rocker... so i made a hasty appointment with my dr who confirmed what she had said. IS THERE ANYTHING MORE BARBARIC? The youngest baby to ever survive was 21 weeks. There are plenty of medications to stop labor even at 21 weeks. SOOOO i am in the market for a new hospital and a more aggressive doctor. I didn't get a diagnosis of pre-term labor yet due to the fact that i am not dilated, but as soon as that happens i need to be at a different hospital, nobody wants a liability. SO i am in need of advice... if you have any let me know.

Husbands and Kids

I pick up Aidan everyday from school and while waiting the 20 mins i either think, read a magazine, or do something else that my two year old didn't allow me to do. That 20 mins becomes my saving grace on some days. Today my thoughts were on my very patient husband and why i am so insecure about him finding someone else or leaving me. It dawned on me that i have always thought that i could never possibly love someone on a comparable level to my kids. Since i have been a mom for 7 years and a wife for 3 i just assumed he would always be next in line but not equal to. It hit me today that not only is it on the same level but it is equally as frightening.

The first time you hold you child some moms like me panic in this completely overwhelmed thought of how the HELL am i going to protect and raise this child. You find yourself wanting to build a perfect padded room in which you prefect child will reside for the rest of its life. I feel that way about jay. Granted it took three years but it hit me, my sudden irrational fear is a fear a mother has for her child, but the problem is he's grown, and he's a cop. He puts himself in harms way on a DAILY basis and unlike a mother i cannot forbid him to cross the road without holding my hand or.... not play with guns.... I fear that God would allow him to be taken from me in a grown up version of cops and robbers and i panic the same way i do when i think about one of my children being taken. Someone once told me that the first year or two are kinda like marriage boot camp and it is NOT pretty! They were right. They also said after that you can't imagine life without them or to go further can't live without them. I am so glad we have reached this place, and i am glad i had my 20 mins to think about why i was being so childish and insecure. The bottom line is we have reached a new and IMPROVED level of love.

Child birth vs root canal

So yesterday after 2 months of dental visits, attempts, and referrals, i finally had my root canal... Did you know that pregnant ladies not only get to pass on the glass of wine but they have to go without the "good stuff" that numbs for long enough to do a root canal? Did you know that i had a horrible experience as a child at a dentist and am now TERRIFIED! Did you know they have come up with a new method to inject you with meds.... they drill a HOLE in your gums into your jaw bone and then inject the root of the tooth with a needle and, for me, the second best stuff....

All i have to say is my husband deserves the husband on the year award. I cried... "shook all my feathers off"Said the dental assistant and forced the dentist to tell me to calm down or he would have to stop for my unborn child's safety.... I'm not a baby about much... but i would rather push a 9 lbs baby out of my vajayjay without drugs...

Today i am bruised and VERY SORE...

and all i got was Tylenol.... : (

Cake and Snot Kendi's 2nd Bday

My sister and Mom...
So Saturday was Kendi's 2nd Birthday. It Was fun.. The pinata only stood up to a couple of hits So Jason and Cory came up with some good ideas... like holding it with their hands...

Look at their faces. Aidan got BOTH of their fingers!!!

They took a break and let Kendi hit it for awhile

Then Aidan hit it out of the park. Look at jay's face... I think he was scared. I may have to wash his shorts for him!

It went well, she acted more like a princess and less like a monkey- See previous posts-

Dancing with Tink

Don't spit on the Cake; Cake and Snot!!!!!!!

Baby update...

Here's whats going on in my belly...

Month 5 - Half Way Home!
Half the pregnancy has now passed, and the baby is about 12 inches long.
The mother has definitely begun to feel movement by now. If a sound is especially startling, the baby may jump in reaction.
Babies are routinely saved when born prematurely at 21 to 22 weeks after fertilization, and in some cases, even younger – babies have lived when born at 19 weeks!

So Baby Hogarth is definitely moving around in there. I can really feel him or her. Aidan can't wait to feel her. I cannot imagine what it would be like to still have two Hogarth's in there. At the last ultrasound i was told he weighs 9 oz...

Desperately seeking baby names....

We cannot come up with ANY names we like.

There's my list : Girl: Ella, Emma, Rachel, Grace

Boy: No idea

His names : "i dunno but i don't like yours"

He only likes Casey for boy or girl. I use to know a Casey (boy) who was stinky and annoying. NO CASEY. So lately i have been coming up with the worst names i can come up with and refer to the baby as such. This weeks is Hogarth (from the movie iron giant)... So i went to the Dr today said i have gallbladder problems so i am on a low salt -for swelling- and low fat -for gallbladder- diet.. yea! But hey maybe i won't gain 100lbs...
BUT Hogarth got a big thumbs up. Afp (test for down syndrome) came back negative YEA!!!! Ultrasound was PERFECT!!! Amniotic fluid perfect. Hogarth has all his or her appropriate working organs.... YEA! Hogarth currently weighs 9oz... Wow! Here are some cute sono pictures.... PLEASE... PLEASE PLEASE give me some names you have heard... We currently need four... A boy first and middle and a girl first and middle...

and it can't be Casey!

Black Tears on Monday

I always have made fun of those girls who get emotional with ALL their make-up on and end up with these black rivers running down their checks. I got to be one of those girls yesterday.

Yesterday started out great. We had an ultrasound and the tech gave me as much of a thumbs up as she could without a Dr there to ok it. I got to see my little bug squirming around in there. We didn't find out the sex, Jason wants to be surprised! But after the good came the bad... the dentist!

In mid October i broke a tooth. This caused alot of drama and every single Monday since then (Jason's only weekday off) i have had a dentist apt to TRY to fix it. Last time it hurt so bad it was a 9 on Ali's pain scale my 10 was giving birth without any meds! So i was scared, and he couldn't numb me. I almost passed out in the chair and was shaking so badly that he stopped and said "i can't do this" OMG its never good when your dentist says i cant! SO i cried. I love my dentist, i love him like family... I got crap teeth i see him alot! He said i needed to be referred out. He wasn't comfortable trying to figure out of to numb me. This makes him sound bad but there is way too many details to write all down, he is a saint and the best dentist EVER in my book. BUT like i said i know him and the thought of seeing a complete stranger scared me. So i cried, big black tears. He and his staff help me compose myself, they all know me by first name.
I got to the referral office and gave them my info, they called me insurance and called my back up to the window. At this point the numbness my dentist had given me is QUICKLY wearing off, and i have a hole and almost exposed nerve in my tooth. I get there and the lady says.. i got bad news, you don't have anymore insurance allowance. What??? My other dentist had told me i had enough to cover this... She then said no you have nothing and it will be somewhere around $1100... Sooo that's when the black tears made their selves back down my cheeks in a waiting room with complete strangers. Sorry kids no Christmas this year, Santa doesn't love you, because mom's got crap teeth!!! This is when i called my mommy......

They patched my holey tooth and sent me home and as i left said... "oh yeah Mrs. Whitsell the insurance company made a mistake, it will be covered but because its and emergency we will be changing you $395" I GET to go back on Monday but my Christmas will be okay!

Hungry hungry hippo...

Aidan is forever my sweet and VERY sensitive boy. Yesterday he gets in the car after school and tells me that he is STARVING. I had put leftover pizza in his lunch which was a HUGE treat. So i asked why. He said because someone spit on his food right after he unwrapped it. He threw his pizza away without taking a bite! I was so mad. My sweet boy, no one bullies him! I am going to their pull hair! So i asked him why he didn't tell one of the lunch ladies or why he didn't tell his teacher and he said he didn't want to be a tattle tail. I guess this is a big dilemma for little first graders. They have a hard time telling the difference between tattling, telling on yourself, and betraying a friendship. I told him that next time he MUST tell a lunch lady or teacher and then call me so i can bring him some thing to eat. Poor guy! I called his teacher because i guess this is not the first time this little boy and sprayed someones food with his special mixture of germs and she handled it well. The boy apologized and i don't think Aidan has thought about it again... I still wanna pull his hair

Starbucks anyone???

Last night I dreamed that i gave my newborn baby (it was a girl) to a strange couple. They were completely unable to take care of her. They smoked in the house (if you could call it a house). The house was condemnable. I left my baby and my baby tortoises. They put the turtles in a bird cage and their little legs were slipping through the wires. It was so clear that both my child and my turtles would not be cared for. I spoke up and said could you not smoke in the house and put the turtles on a hard surface, they ignored me and acted like they didn't understand. I woke up very thankful that it was a dream...but i knew what it meant. That's how i feel about Barack Obama! He has my kids future. Will he take care of them? Does he know what he is doing? Could he even take care of a turtle? He is our leader, i will pray for him and i will try to support him. He just doesn't make me feel secure!

ON a lighter note... I really want some chai eggnog TAMAR!!!

I am having an ultrasound on Monday followed by my second root canal in two weeks. I have crap teeth. I am alittle nervous about the ultrasound but i can't wait to see my baby.
Hope every ones Wednesday is good...

AL

My Kendi is sick

and its my fault... She has two sippy cups that are exactly alike... I gave her one in the morning and she brought it back empty (so i thought) i refilled it and she finished that at church. When we got home she had this HORRIBLE diarrhea... I mean BAD! I couldn't figure it out. Something in my mommy-spidy-senses told me to wash everything even the sippies... As i took the stopper out of the pink sippy i thought i had given her that morning i saw black mold... ALOT OF IT... i freaked... googled it... then went out and bought a good supply of B.R.A.T. diet food... We are still washing sheets and clothing and we are still having poop issues....



Seriously, i just blogged about poop. I need a life!

summer 2008

This is Shelly (or Sheldon if its a boy). I guess my turtle (tortoise) laid eggs sometime during the summer. She is maybe the only survivor or the first of many. Jason found her right before he went to step down on her. She is the tiniest thing i have ever seen. Kendra says "mama see cuuuuuute" Which means lift me up and hold me for hours on end to see the cute turtle...

These are some pictures of the kids Kendra and Aidan at the Big Bear Zoo...

My husband and his mini me!

My Daughter the Monkey

After i had Aidan i was never afraid to take him anywhere. He adapted quickly. He didn't need a schedule, he'd sleep anywhere, he was patient, sweet brave- even through the terrible twos. He NEVER threw a tantrum and had maybe 6 time outs and 3 spankings. He was and IS just GOOD and EASY! I would go out in public to a restaurant or to the store and people would comment on how sweet my little boy was. Of course this went straight to my head, at that time i was still a single parent (with A LOT of help from my parents) I thought to myself... you could do this parenting stuff with one hand tied firmly behind your back AND blindfolded! I should have 6 perfect kids and write a book! I could be the next Dr. James Dobson or the next T. Berry Brazelton!

After much struggle we got pregnant with our next perfectly compliant child. I couldn't wait to show off my experienced mothering skills! She popped out perfectly but in the next year her personality popped out as well.

When i was a little girl I really wanted a baby spider monkey. I would have gladly loped off one of my limbs for one. I soon discover they are illegal in California so i would have to move out of state. High school came and went and my dream faded. Sometime during my pregnancy with Aidan i watched a documentary on monkeys as pets. Basically they ripped away from their mothers days after birth. Both mother and baby are FOREVER traumatized and cry actual tears as any human would do. Monkeys are only 2 chromosomes away from humans... thus they have many of the same emotions we do. They are taken away from their mommy monkey to appease the new human mother. The baby monkeys are very clingy and have random and VIOLENT mood swings. They will cuddle you for a second then send you to the ER for 150 stitches and an appointment with a plastic surgeon.

Now back to Kendra. She is a monkey- minus the hair. This morning she woke up cute and cuddly she told me she wanted juice and cereal, then ran to her chair and pointed for me to sit. I sat she placed she head on my shoulder and snuggled in. Her wild blond hair sticking up in every postion was tickling my nose, it would have to wait, if i move she may attack. Then the unthinkable- i sneezed!.... it was all over. She pushed away from me hard with a furrowed brow and a scowl. I giggled. Big mistake. She threw her bowl of (dry) cereal across the room. I told her that was "naughty business" and to clean it up. She arched her back and slid off the chair and landed on her belly (looked like it hurt) THEN the scream. The scream that woke sleeping brother, Daddy and my hibernating turtles. She woke up my neighbors and my parents (who are currently in Mexico) After my ears stopped bleeding i came to the conclusion. She is a baby monkey. I am afraid to take her into public, for fear of the NEGATIVE comments and parenting advice i get from random strangers. I won't take her out to eat for fear of the flying french fries that will hit some unsuspecting stranger in the head. Don't get me wrong, we are dealing with the tantrums and we DEFINITELY disciplining her but i am as equipped to write a parenting book as Britney Spears' mother is!

Pregnancy for me= 9 months of fear

As most people know I am currently working on my 8th pregnancy. Yep i said 8. Every time i go to the doctor the nurse asks and i say 8 and she turns and looks at me with either a look of shock or horror, then it turns to either a look of disgust (is she a crack whore who didnt know how to use birth control and has had 8 abortions) or a look of amazement (does she has 8 kids) By this time they usually have managed to see the part of my file marked *habitual spontaneous aborter* Then their look turns to sympathy and they usually mumble a 'sorry' before asking "have you had ANY live births" ~~~NICE!~~~ For those who may not know I've had two, My beautiful- perfect- sweet- sensitive- old car lovin- boy Aidan who will be 7 (YIKES) in January, and my fiery- spirited- pretty- girly- glittery- pink- fluffy- princess- girl kendra who will be 2 (also YIKES) in November.
We have figured out that my body refuses to help out with the hormone Progesterone during the first 10 weeks of life. So once they figured that out we got me some meds that make me barf and i thought i was set. This is why we put our faith in God not man! Its not fool proof. My thoughts are they synthetic stuff cant be as good as the perfect God made stuff.
This pregnancy started like most. Jay and i hold our breath until the 11th week and the Dr. McD tells me its smooth sailing from that point on. Its scary when your Dr is wrong alot! Maybe he just knows me and my serious case of worry-wart-itis!
This last ultrasound i had wasn't great. My amniotic fluid is low and they couldn't get a good look at the heart. I said i was going to try to be a big girl and not stress... But soooo much easier said than done. So i remind myself that this is ... i repeat IS the LAST pregnancy (good bad or ugly) that i will have and if i spend my time waiting for some horrible thing to go wrong i will miss the joy of feeling peanut flutter.
So today i will be joyful. Today i will be!

Trying something new

I think I am the last person on earth to start blogging but nows as good a time as any. I am a stay at home Mom and thus get out and have adult conversations very rarely, so i thought maybe this would be a good outlet for all the unsaid words that get dumped on my husband first thing in the morning (he works nights)!